ak.
i am allison, and i am different than any other person you've ever met. i guarantee it.

i feel a great need to do something more with my life… i need to be creative, to make or create, to work on and improve my life and myself, to absorb as much information and knowledge as i possibly can, to become ME.

you all will be able to see my pretty face on the utah county jail inmate website this weekend, woohoo-not.
no, i didn’t get arrested and won’t actually be in jail, i just have to get my picture taken because i got pulled over and cops took away my ganja pipe ):
i’m just glad i get to know in advance, so i can actually get ready aha..every other time my picture has been taken at the jail, it just so happened to be on the one day i didn’t get ready & looked like shit. i’m so cool…not.
i hate the fact that i ever even had my picture on that website, that i went to jail (even though the second time was for bogus charges), that i even committed the crime that got me locked up, & that i got caught. if you are going to be a criminal, at least be a good one… which i obviously am not, so i’ve found it’s easier to just not do stupid shit like that anymore. i don’t give a flying fuck what anyone else says or thinks, i am doing my own thing & am doing good, & that’s all that matters.
all the haters can eat a dick. 

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we came as romans. best song ever by an amazing band.

I always knew I’d never reach perfection,
And if I ever did then I wasn’t trying hard enough.
Because there is always something more to reach for.

And every end is just the start to something else.
I think that if we ever stopped seeking out
What it is that keeps us growing,
Then we’ll never stop searching for the piece.
The heart that will keep us loving.

I’m always searching for

I’m always searching.
This path’s not easy to walk upon.
I’m always seeking.
Knowing that I’m eager to carry on.
I’m searching, seeking, reaching for something more.
I’ll be better than before,
Reaching for something more.

So if we keep seeking out what is right,
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/w/we-came-as-romans-lyrics/searching,-seeking,-reaching,-always-lyrics.html ]
Moving on after being set back,
Searching out what keeps us strong.
Searching out, and always building up the things that we lack.
This path we choose is not the easiest to walk upon (walk upon)
And knowing that I am more eager to continue on,
Because I know that when I reach the end
I’ll be better than before.

Reaching for something more.
I’m always searching,
I’m always seeking.

I’m always searching,
This path’s not easy to walk upon,
I’m always seeking.
Knowing that I’m eager to carry on,
I’m searching, seeking, reaching for something more
I’ll be better than before,
Reaching for something more.

sorry i suck and never post any more.

lately i’ve found it really hard to give a shit about much of anything. i really just dont care. everyone i know is fake as fuck, people are full of drama, punk ass bitches. and i for sure don’t need any of that.

that and i don’t have the internet. ha.

September 24th, 2010 at 2:20 am

The wind in the trees
Fingers in the breeze
Gently tousling its hair, gentle leaves,
Shakes its head and the dead ones fall at its feet

The people don’t believe in the limbs
That carry the burdens of nature’s sins
And unlike the population, poplars don’t act on whims
When autumn dies, no one wins.

Give your heart to the forests’ poor
Although it could never ask for more
We indulge in the mysteries of its lore
Yet they’re so willing to make mother nature out to be a whore.

September 16, 2010

Breathe in the beauty of it all,
the breath-taking grandeur of your epic fucking failure
The chaos and calamity crashing down all around you
Just take a moment to appreciate all the damage
Being wrought upon your life, brought about
By your own hands, sought by your own
Miscalculated judgements… a complete devastation
Of anything you may have once loved
If you ever really loved a single thing at all Any other object besides your own perfectly Hand-crafted, treacherous little lies… When you stop to take an infinite second to ponder upon the destruction you knowingly and semi-willingly let loose in your own private paradise Did you get bored with contentment? Did you look at your satisfaction with possible contempt? The world had fallen into your hands, Yet you let it slip to the floor where it shattered On your bare feet; now you walk with bloody footprints And your indifference leaves even you puzzled You could’ve had it all, you could’ve dreamed of everything And seen the results as if they materialized in front of your eyes But you threw it to the birds for simple entertainment Maybe your star-crossed eyes dreamt of glamour In becoming a thoroughly hot mess.. You know the type, with a label of some disgusting unimportance But in your own mind it feels worthy of mention.. It’s really not. Your failure will never be remembered; how do you feel, Knowing you dashed away all note-worthy endeavors To pursue a path that took you away from all hope and light.. You pursued excitement that fell short.. Too short. Now you are nothing. No love, no life, no dreams. Just an empty blackness that consumes your dying soul. Congratulations. you finally became everything you hate.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2010


A simple girl; twisted through with rage
this once elegant creature, reduced to a broken heart.
ripped to pieces, torn apart.. glued back together again with her misery, her pain.
Will this moment-her eternity- be enough for your greed? her humiliation is your decadent fame.
Take her soul and frame it on your wall, so you can relive the agony, remember it all..
decorate your world with her misfortunate shame.
Her world was one full of life, brilliant light,
A place where innocence once played,
You cross your Ts while she scratches out her eyes
the world weeps just a little bit more each day
Gut-wrenching sobs disturb this calm night,
crying out to the moon to be saved.

“Dozed of backstage, thought I saw Eazy talkin to Jam Master Jay, so I walked over heard Jam Master say, ‘It’s a hard knock life then you pass away’. They say ‘sleep is the cousin of death’ so my eyes wide open cause a dream is kin to your last breath.”

lyrics from ‘Dreams’ by: The Game